I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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