I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
