why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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