Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
