well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
