if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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