So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just want nice things and good sex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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