"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
