Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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