I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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