I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
