Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
