i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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