I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
