I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
