I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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