We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
