Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
