it's like iHOP with fire
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm really busy with my period
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