OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
