dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
