i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The power of my boobs compel you
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
