if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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