i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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