real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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