phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
