My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
