I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
