she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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