There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
