She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
