Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
