at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize