HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
