Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
