I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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