My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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