I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
