I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
