also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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