One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
