So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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