why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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