Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
