There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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