You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
