I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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