Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
