where am i from again
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
