You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
