New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
